Masterchef Challenge!

Dear landlubbers

You have been presented with a freshly caught, still-flapping Dorado. There is no shop within 1800 km. You are required to prepare a luncheon involving said Dorado, for your fellow travelers. Proceed.

Here is one attempted solution.

  1. Dispatch the denizen of the deep to the hereafter by means of a sharply applied winch handle to the head.
  2. Gut the same. Remove head and tail with whatever implements are to hand. A Leatherman and a hacksaw may come in handy.
  3. Clean the murder site by means of copious buckets of salt water splashed over the decks and scrubbed . Stand back to admire your handiwork.
  4. Attempt to fillet the fish with the implements to hand. Concede that neat fillet steaks are not an option.
  5. Wrap in foil and a bin bag and place in a barely cold fridge for 18 hours to consider what to do with your fish.
  6. Name your fish. Being the first, we start with A.  Meet Alphonse.
  7. The next day, you discover why comestion of the fish had been delayed.  You are on lunch duty….  Masterchef challenge accepted…..

Random events and circumstances to be borne in mind

  • your work surface is 20 cm x 30 cm. And moves mostly in two, sometimes three,  dimensions. If your remove the kettle from the stove top, it must occupy your work surface.
  • the fridge is under the work surface
  • you have a two plate gas burner and oven on gimbals, meaning that its motion is entirely disconnected to that of the boat.
  • implements, ingredients, pans, etc. are not what you are accustomed to. Any request for such is met with a chorus of “don’t have” or “it’s in one of eleven cupboards”.

Take 2 bird’s eye chillies. 2 green chilies, one habanero and chop finely, all while your chopping board swings 30 degrees to each side.  Apply to the fish, with olive oil, garlic, butter and freshly squeezed lime juice. Salt and black pepper to taste. Cover with foil, and place in a preheated oven.

Temperature cannot be properly controlled so just take what you get. Bake fish until done, and serve with a sauce of melted butter, chopped coriander and Tabasco.

Fellow crew, lunch is served. 0 marks for presentation. For the rest, I’m pretty darned proud. And it will be the best fish I’ve ever eaten.


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